Cow Island

Funny Cartoon

Steve Allender is a self taught cartoonist, illustrator and fine art landscape painter. He has, in the past, contributed cartoons to 'Punch' as well as writing for 'Artists and Illustrators' magazine. His paintings can be found in various galleries around England. His time is now mainly taken up with recording the daily adventures of the six cartoon cows who live in his head. This has not proved to be easy as they move around a lot and take frequent trips away from home. He has some hopes that eventually some kind person will offer to make them into an animated series for television, thus making him a wealthy man and giving the Cows the chance to live a life dominated by the consumption of cake.

Check out more of Steve's cow cartoons on his Cow Island blog.

  • All good things...

    'I have a feeling that eventually the spring will just give out,' mooed Norma.

    'In ten years or so,' replied Captain Bill.

    'Well, you know Annie,' said Norma. 'She'll get bored with it in a month or so.'

    'And Camille is actually proposing to run a prison?'

    'It's going to be a sort of prison, school, vineyard combo,' replied Norma.

    'So what next?'

    'Going home time, I guess? And I'm afraid we have to take a break.'

    'I thought we might.'

    'I suspect The Great Pencil in the Sky needs to go off and earn some money.'

    'And how does he propose to do that?'

    'I'm not sure really.......through intelligence, wit and artistic ability?'

    Captain Bill stopped and looked at Norma.

    'He's doomed!'

    'Possibly,' agreed Norma.

    And they all walked on for a while.

    'Soooooooooo,' asked Captain Bill, 'what happened to Bertha?'

    'Norman fell on her,' mooed Norma.

    And Captain Bill laughed until he felt quite, quite ill.

    (Dear Readers, Thank you! If you've read one or a hundred and one, thank you. It doesn't work without you. Now I need to stop for a while. The Cows will be back, I suspect they will always be back, but it will be a time. Until then, take care and possibly next time around I'll try to write a proper plot....not promising though!)

  • Running a prison for pleasure and profit

    'Are you sure you're sure?' asked Norma.

    'But of course!' replied Camille. 'Myself and ma little students are as one in this matter, although clearly their parents must never find out.'

    'I'm still not convinced that running a school is any sort of preparation for running a prison.'

    'Oh! You'd be surprised,' replied Camille.

    'But they're a flock of hardened criminals with a long history of nefarious activities,' added Norma.

    'And I am but a teacher with a plastic ruler and a deeply rooted hostility towards a society that I feel 'as failed to provide me with a better lot in life,' replied Camille.

    'You have a point,' conceded Norma, 'and it would save us from having to take them all the way back to King Otto's.'

    'And I get the cheap labour that is vital to ma vineyard,' replied Camille. '...........Not that this thought 'as 'ad any influence over me......................Not at all.......................In no way.'

    'And you're confident you can keep them under control?'

    'Oh yes! In ma country we have very strict prisons. They will be expected to work for maybe 3 hours a day and at lunchtimes there will be only a choice of 5 soft cheeses and 4 wines.'

    'That doesn't sound that tough?'

    'One of the wines will be an unchilled rose!'

    'I pity them,' said Norma.

    'And yet this is the price they must pay for straying beyond the law,' mooed Camille.

    'So, I guess all that remains is for us to say goodbye and wish you well?'

    'Indeed!' replied Camille. 'Until we inevitably meet once more in some bizarre and poorly plotted adventure.'

    And so, with hugs and kisses on both cheeks (which Norma found slightly unnecessary) the two friends parted. 

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