Cow Island

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Funny Cartoon

Steve Allender is a self taught cartoonist, illustrator and fine art landscape painter. He has, in the past, contributed cartoons to 'Punch' as well as writing for 'Artists and Illustrators' magazine. His paintings can be found in various galleries around England. His time is now mainly taken up with recording the daily adventures of the six cartoon cows who live in his head. This has not proved to be easy as they move around a lot and take frequent trips away from home. He has some hopes that eventually some kind person will offer to make them into an animated series for television, thus making him a wealthy man and giving the Cows the chance to live a life dominated by the consumption of cake.

Check out more of Steve's cow cartoons on his Cow Island blog.

How to fall...and land!

Captain Bill fell through the cool night air.

He spent so long falling that in the end he got bored with screaming and simply passed the time thinking of ways in which he would have got his own back on Cyril..if he'd lived to do so.

He managed to come up with 37 different ideas before he hit the hayrick.

He went quite a long way into it before it's springiness lifted him back into the air and for a brief moment he was airborne again.

But then he fell for a 2nd time and landed on some bales of hay...and then bounced once more before finally landing with a thud on the damp grass.

For a while he lay doing nothing. He'd never quite seen the point before in why Annie bothered to count her legs but now he gave it a go and found he still had 4...and 2 horns and a tail.

This he found pleasing.

He was just about to try standing when he became aware of the sound of the rumble of hooves which were moving in his direction. They stopped in the dark a little way from him and he saw a long line of pairs of eyes blinking in the moonlight.

Then one slightly larger pair of eyes moved closer and a voice spoke in the night.

'CAPITAINE BILE!' it said.

(back on Monday)
By the light of a silvery cutlass

In the still of the night the pirate balloon floated on.

'Right lads,' bleated Lefty,'careful now!'

And another sheep pushed a small lever and the balloon sank lower.

'Island approaching! called out a 3rd sheep.

'Excellent!' muttered Lefty,'soon be home!'

'Erm! Excuse me!' said a sheep in a captain's hat. 'Excuse me, could I just come past, thank you.'

And now he stood before Lefty.

'I was just wondering, would there be any chance that you could drop me off first?'

'Drop you off?' replied Lefty.

'Indeed,' said Captain Bill,'before you all get too involved with the whole arriving at your evil pirate lair thing...if you could just...divert a bit?'

Lefty looked at Captain Bill.

'Have we met before?' he asked.

'No!' replied Captain Bill. 'No, no, not been aboard long really.'

'And now...you want to leave?' said Lefty.

'Well you know what it's like,' replied Captain Bill,'you see an advert in the local press, 'Bored? Looking for a new career? Fancy life as a pirate?' So it was really just a sort of taster course, to see how it goes...and it has been lots and lots of fun...but not for me...probably a bit short of danger to be honest. I thought it would be more swinging on ropes and sword fights, still you live and learn!'

'Right,' said Lefty,'well.......seems a bit....mutinous if you ask me!'

'Never!' mooed Captain Bill.

The pirate sheep stared at Captain Bill...there was ....a moment.

'Did you just moo?' asked Lefty.

'Erm!' bleated Captain Bill.

But at that moment a very large , sunglass wearing sheep pushed his way to the front.

'If I might suggest,' he began,'if he wants to leave...let's let him leave!'

And with that Cyril picked up Captain Bill....and threw him overboard.

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