Cow Island

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Steve Allender is a self taught cartoonist, illustrator and fine art landscape painter. He has, in the past, contributed cartoons to 'Punch' as well as writing for 'Artists and Illustrators' magazine. His paintings can be found in various galleries around England. His time is now mainly taken up with recording the daily adventures of the six cartoon cows who live in his head. This has not proved to be easy as they move around a lot and take frequent trips away from home. He has some hopes that eventually some kind person will offer to make them into an animated series for television, thus making him a wealthy man and giving the Cows the chance to live a life dominated by the consumption of cake.

Check out more of Steve's cow cartoons on his Cow Island blog.

  • The fine art of selling



    'But 'ow does me buying 150 clockwork chickens 'elp me run a vineyard?' asked Camille.

    'Many, badly informed, people would ask exactly the same question,' replied Cyril.

    'Maybe I could meet them?' suggested Camille. 'We would 'ave something in common.'

    'They cost almost nothing to run,' continued Cyril.

    'I am still thinking a great big, ten hoof high, non!' replied Camille.

    'Which is where you'd be making a serious error,' said Cyril.

    'I've invested everything I have into steam driven quail,' mooed Annie.

    'And have you regretted it?' asked Cyril.

    'I am a happier, calmer, person and may run for election,' read Annie from a printed card.

    'See!' said Cyril. 'What better recommendation could you ask for?'

    'And my horns are shinier after just 3 treatments,' added Annie.

    'It just keeps getting better!' said Cyril.

    'But ma 'orns don't come into it,' replied Camille. 'I need 'elp with ma grapes.'

    'So many do,' agreed Cyril. 'But remember this is just an aside. We can move onto the important stuff whenever you give the word.'

    'Then I'm giving it, like right now!' replied Camille.

    'Then if you could kindly point me towards your very finest vintages?'

    'Why do I 'ave a bad feeling about this?' said Camille.

    But still, off they went.




    'That's odd!' mooed Annie, as they herded along. 'Brad's never even spoken to me before but, now I'm using my new steam powered quail, he's asked me to the dance on Saturday night!'

  • All's well that ends in a well



    'How an earth did you get in there?' asked Norma.

    'It wasn't easy,' replied Captain Bill.

    'Well you'll be getting yourself out. I don't have time to help you.'

    'Perhaps we could just leave him there?' suggested Bertha.

    'But you can't hide from her forever,' continued Norma. 'You know that don't you? 

    'I have absolutely no intention of meeting her,' mooed Captain Bill.

    'She's already been asking after you,' replied Norma.

    ' 'ow is ma brave Capitaine Bile?' mimicked Bertha.

    Give her some sort of excuse,' said Captain Bill.

    'Such as?' asked Norma.

    '............................................................I'm dead!'

    'Could be arranged,' said Bertha.

    'Tell her I died fighting dragons!'

    'I doubt she'll believe me,' replied Norma.

    'Ill then,' continued Captain Bill. '....................with something contagious.' 

    'Cowardice?' suggested Bertha.

    'I could just tell her you're busy?' said Norma.

    'Great!' replied Captain Bill. 'Tell her I'm busy...fighting dragons.'

    'It'll only delay her,' mooed Norma. 'She'll still want to meet you.'

    '.........................Could we talk about something else?' asked Captain Bill.

    'There's not much to say,' replied Norma. 'I have a very strong chat with Cyril. I don't think he'll do anything silly now and Annie wants to know how Mr Snail is?'

    'Fine!' said Captain Bill. 'He's just fine!'

    'So you just want to be left in there?' asked Norma.

    'Just collect me when you're leaving,' replied Captain Bill.

    'If we remember,' said Norma.

    And Bertha smiled at Norma.




 
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